13 Months

Today's date is sticking out like a sore thumb this month.

I've thought about writing more often than I have been, but I feel like my writing and thoughts have either dried up or are the same as they always were and so there isn't very much new to share. Should I type more of the same "people hurt for a long time; please be understanding and patient; please don't judge; never thought it would be this way; so many reasons for growth and gratitude and joy and pain all together...."?

The only new feeling that I've recently come to discern and now identify is one of loneliness. I feel very lonely and disconnected from people. It isn't just the somewhat-recent move to Virginia, either, as I started feeling this way in Arizona. Somehow, being intensely lonely from Abigail's departure has affected how I feel around almost everyone else. I understand better the quote "it takes only one person to be absent, and the whole world is depopulated."

But I have some constants, and in that I find joy. My Father in Heaven always understands me, and not only that, He's constantly accessible! That is truly wonderful and I am so grateful for the knowledge I have of Him and our relationship.

I keep my loneliness tightly controlled so as to not get out of context--to not let it become an inward, selfish focus. So I am grateful for opportunities to serve and think of others; I often think of a quote that I learned as a little girl that I've never forgotten: "She who brings happiness into the lives of others cannot keep it from herself." And there are countless opportunities to serve and help others.

I'm grateful for my family. That doesn't need any more clarification. :)

Thank you for caring and reading today. I hope you will continue to pray for children fighting cancer and for their families who go through so much stress and distress. Prayers are so powerful.

Always, in FAITH.

August 1, 2014

Here we are, in a new month. As far as the weather goes, it's been amazing. Almost fall-like weather--the other night I was actually chilled being outside.

We've been busy and content lately. We took a little family vacation and visited Kirtland, OH, and Nauvoo, IL a couple weeks ago. Our one and only son celebrated his 13th birthday. Aaron killed a snake in the barn one Sunday morning (you never know what will make you late for church!). We harvested our first tomatoes from the garden today. All 8 chickens are still alive and still don't lay. We picked a couple pounds of wild blackberries from vines on our little country road. Honestly, I've never lived a July and August like this one!!!!

I finished another 3 credits for my nutrition certificate....every time I study I am inspired by Abigail. Oh how I hope I can help others.

I'm trying to use some summer free-time to work on her Beads of Courage project. For every procedure, shot, transfusion, test, overnight stay, fever, etc. she received a specific colored bead. She has hundreds and hundreds of beads. I'm putting them in a frame to be hung on the wall. Finally a year after her death I've started working on it, and it is such a sobering reminder. I'll post a picture when it's done, but don't hold your breath waiting.

I don't have much else to say. Life is good, happy, challenging, painful, prayerful, and more.

Always, in FAITH. Faith in God and His plan, which is truly perfect.