Hi! My name is Abigail. I finished my mortal mission in a little spec of eternity you call July 2013.
Now I'm in the Spirit World and can help my family and friends (that's everyone) from this side of the veil. Some people get a little uneasy talking about "spirits" but I'm here to tell you we're not scary. My body died, but I'm still alive. My body was destroyed and really needed a break, but I'll have it again soon. You'll have to trust me on the issue of timing. It won't be long, promise.
A month before I came here, my mommy was holding me and I told her "I will keep you forever." It took her by surprise that I came up with that on my own, but I knew what I was saying. I reinforced it later a few times by telling her, "I will keep you forever in my world, " and "I will keep you forever in my life". I meant exactly what I said.
This little piece of world wide web is a place my mom can continue to write and record her feelings--her progress, I like to call it. I know it's helping a few of you, too.
Remember who you are--really are--and that many of us are excited to see you all again, too. Eternity is a very long time and I have to keep reminding my mom "I will keep you forever".

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Our First Easter

Our little family of husband, myself, and our 3 children at the time moved to Mesa AZ on January 1, 2004. Three months later we found a house to buy, and it was a mere 1/2 of a mile from the Mesa Cemetery. When Easter came that first year, we started a tradition of going to the cemetery and signing Easter songs to my brother.

His gravestone says

Our Celestial Missionary
Jared Irving Ray
Aug 13, 1970
March 28, 1977

He died from a brain stem tumor a year before I was born, so I never knew him in this mortal life. But each year at Easter we would go to his grave.

As the years went on, Sister #4 and then Abigail joined our family, and then one fateful day in January 2011 we found out Abigail had cancer--she was 19 months old. I'll have to check my photos of those years, but I imagine that we visited the cemetery that year. The next year, 2012, her hair was growing back and she had No Evidence of Disease. That was a good year, until the end of December.

Keeping with tradition, last year we visited Jared's grave again. Abigail was bald again from treatment. I have pictures of her being spunky and dancing in her sweet little way. Someone is buried on the left side of Jared, but to the right of him there were unused plots, and so that is usually where we would sit. Now I look at the pictures of Abigail at that Easter visit, and see my little 3-year-old running and hopping on Jared's grave, neighboring graves, and the ground that would eventually be her grave.

Now when we go to the cemetery, we see Jared's gravestone, plus

I Will Keep You Forever
Abigail Goss
June 12, 2009
July 15, 2013

Of course, we live in Virginia now, but I can see her gravestone as clearly as if I was there. I miss visiting her. Maybe someone else will stop by today. We stayed with our tradition and went to a little cemetery out here in the country....there are many. We didn't know anyone there, so we just sang to no one in particular! It is hard being away from Abigail, but she left us first.

During Abigail's cancer journey, occasionally my brother's name would come to my mind, or an image of my Aunt Juanita. I would draw strength from their lives and although I never 'felt' them, I felt as if they were supporting Abigail and our family in ways we couldn't see. I was so grateful for them. I can't wait to see them again and tell them how grateful I am for their help and express my love to them. I can't wait to meet my brother!

And now, I think of Abigail. Naturally. I can't wait to see her again!! Easter is a beautiful, beautiful time and the tears are mostly of joy and gratitude, punctuated by the pain that makes my gratitude so deep.

There was a fireside address given in 1974 that I love. Time cannot tarnish truth. Elder Neal A. Maxwell said,

"I speak to this generation of what lies ahead--urging you to pour out your hearts in supplication and prayer. There is nothing more powerful than prayer, nothing more masculine or more feminine (at the same time) than prayer. There was more power processed and expended on that single night in Gethsemane, in that small garden, than all the armies and navies have ever expended in all the battles on land and sea and in the air in all of human history. There was more good done in that garden that night because of prayer and because of suffering than has been achieved by all the social, political, and economic programs that one sees strewn down the long corridor of human history. The catalyst of prayer helped Jesus to cope with suffering, and by this suffering he emancipated all men from death and made possible eternal life. This cardinal fact about the central act of human history, the Atonement, ought to give us pause, therefore, as we face our challenges individually.

"Most of our suffering, brothers and sisters, actually comes because of our sins and not because of our nobility. Isn't it marvelous that Jesus Christ, who did not have to endure that kind of suffering because he was sin-free, nevertheless took upon himself the sins of all of us and experienced an agony so exquisite we cannot comprehend it? I don't know how many people have lived on the earth for sure, but demographers say between 30 and 67 billion. If you were to collect the agony for your own sins and I for mine, and multiply it by that number, we can only shudder at what the sensitive, divine soul of Jesus must have experienced in taking upon himself the awful arithmetic of the sins of all of us--an act which he did selflessly and voluntarily. If it is also true (in some way we don't understand) that the cavity which suffering carves into our souls will one day also be the receptacle of joy, how infinitely greater Jesus' capacity for joy, when he said, after his resurrection, 'Behold, my joy is full.' How very, very full, indeed, his joy must have been!"

His agony and pain became something glorious and beautiful.

How grateful I am for His birth, His life, His death, and His resurrection. I love my Savior, Jesus Christ. I can't wait to see Him again, too. Happy Resurrection Day, everyone!!!! The best day of the year...no, of eternity.


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