Hi! My name is Abigail. I finished my mortal mission in a little spec of eternity you call July 2013.
Now I'm in the Spirit World and can help my family and friends (that's everyone) from this side of the veil. Some people get a little uneasy talking about "talking spirits" or "ghosts" but I'm here to tell you we're not scary. My body died, but I'm still alive. My body was destroyed and really needed a break, but I'll have it again soon. You'll have to trust me on the issue of timing. It won't be long, promise.
A month before I came here, my mommy was holding me and I told her "I will keep you forever." It took her by surprise that I came up with that on my own, but I knew what I was saying. I reinforced it later a few times by telling her, "I will keep you forever in my world, " and "I will keep you forever in my life". I meant exactly what I said.
This little piece of world wide web is a place my mom can continue to write and record her feelings--her progress, I like to call it. I know it's helping a few of you, too.
Remember who you are--really are--and that many of us are excited to see you all again, too. Eternity is a very long time and I have to keep reminding my mom "I will keep you forever".

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Miracles Today

I was originally going to title this "A Miracle Today" until I read an email tonight about Abigail.

Let me start with last night.

I stood staring at the clothes in my closet wondering what to wear for family pictures this morning, and I thought, "Birthdays should be fun. Why do I want to wear only black? That probably doesn't make Abigail happy, but I really only want to wear black."

Then I could feel the sobs seriously starting to churn inside and one escaped and I sat down in Abigail's rocking chair in my bedroom. After a couple minutes, I realized I hadn't cried anything more than that first burst. I had dried up. I had become still. Not quite peaceful, but just--still. I thought, "Maybe Abigail's here." And then I had the impression that might be true, but also that many prayers were being offered on our behalf and He was listening. Thank you, thank you.

Your faith and prayers have carried us through the day. We took family pictures (and I wore a light-gold blouse, by the way. I just knew Abigail wouldn't like the all-black.) Hyrum, Mary, and I did proxy baptisms at the temple. We went grocery shopping to prepare for tomorrow. We watched some home video footage of Abigail's 3rd birthday when she was healthy. I went visiting teaching tonight, and then we spent a few hours prepping food for tomorrow.

One way to not think about feelings too much is to stay busy, but that wasn't my intention when we planned a while ago to go to the beach on June 13. But we did plan it, and since it will be a leave-early and get-back-late trip, we have to plan and pack all of our food. Which requires a lot of thinking.

I did manage to have enough brain power to think how ironic it is that we are going to go to one of Abigail's favorite places: the beach. The last beach we went to was Silver Beach (I think that was the name) in San Diego just over the border from Tijuana. She got her feet and ankles wet for about 10 minutes. She was also hooked up to a home infusion pump that I carried around. Soon she was cold, so I changed her clothes and she sat on my lap till she fell asleep. Not your typical beach experience. But that was typical life for Abigail.

But back to today...

As the day has drawn to a close, I have been so grateful that although it has been a hard day, it has been smooth. My emotions have been even. We received many kind texts and a few flowers here at home. A box of fruit with scripture messages attached. Sweet, thoughtful new friends in our new home out here trying to help us cope.

It was a good hard day. That was the miracle. Through the faith and prayers of many, He supported and strengthened us. It's certainly not beyond His power, and I am so grateful He notices us.

A friend of mine went to Abigail's grave and texted me a picture saying there was a bunch of stuff at her grave. A friend of Aaron's also went and did the same thing to Aaron. We were touched.

I don't think I even cried today, beyond just misty eyes. Until tonight, when I read an email. The church members back home---sweet, thoughtful sisters in the gospel--sent an email to the ward members inviting them to visit Abigail's grave since it is her birthday today. They put balloons there so it was easy to locate. I don't know if they even realize I'm still on that email list, but in the email they wrote, "We [want] to show that we still remember her and love the Goss family."

Then the tears came.

I don't know why it's so important as the living survivor of a 'deceased' person to have other people also remember with you. But it IS. It IS. And when I saw by the end of the day how much Abigail is still remembered, even though they didn't know her very well because she was young and not often in public, or never even met her at all like our Virginia friends, it really touched me.



So to everyone who said a prayer for us, and all our family, and all of you wonderful people who read this, thank you. Thank you for remembering Abigail.

Happy birthday, precious angel. I hope you will still keep me forever like you said you would.

Faith.

3 comments:

  1. I have thought of you guys all day. We played at the beach tonight here in San Diego and you were on my mind. We love you!

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  2. We are also eating banana muffins in honor of Abigail today. I will always think of her when I make them! I am so glad to have something so simple to remember her little sweet spirit by.

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  3. Beautiful, Annabeth! I'm so very very grateful for all the people who remembered Abigail today too! And those who honored her and remembered her family today! Thank you to all. Your Aaron and Annabeth Goss family has truly inspired, taught, uplifted, encouraged, and been loved by so many around the world. How can I express such deep gratitude and blessing that I have been given to know, love, be loved, and be part of your forever family?
    I love all of you, certainly including Abigail, so very much! Hugs and holds, loves and kisses from Aunt Nelly and family

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